What if every arse had its own life

Its very own passport

Its own kids and a wife


What if they were funny

And thoughtful too

They earned their own money

And conversed on the loo


A best friend could be your very own behind

It would follow you round

It would be so easy to find


Whenever you’re sad you would hear the muffled sound

Of your bottom on the sofa bringing you round


Butt some asses are asses

Or so its been told

Either lads or lasses

Some buttocks are cold


Not all heines are happy to be

Disturbed by poo and so close to pee


So a resistance has started

You must beware

A thousands bums have farted

So treat you bottom with care


Photo courtesy of jam343 on Flickr


About Matt

I love poems, I love stupid pointless not sure if the person really knows what they're writing about poems, that way who knows what might happen!
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18 Responses to Buttocks

  1. willowdot21 says:

    YEA! I love it this is so very clever! BTW. Thank you for visiting my blog do feel free to drop in any time !! You are most welcome. Be well and be happy.xx
    BTW. in the line “Whenever you’re said you would here the muffled sound Of your bottom on the sofa bringing you round.” Did you mean Whenever you are sad instead of said, I do hope you do not mind me asking! πŸ˜‰ XX

    • Matt says:

      arrrrrr nuts, when that kinda thing happens it feels like you’ve been walking around with your flies open all day. But thank for you comment and spotting my open flies.

  2. Hi Matt, first time visitor, saw your like on our piece on BenLomond, and had a look. Love your quote ‘I love stupid pointless not sure if the person really knows what they’re writing about poems’, sums up a lot of what I write. Fortunately I have Phil’s doodles to make sense of the drivel. Great site, will be back. Cheers

    • Matt says:

      When I refer to poems I love that’s stupid that’s mostly the ones I write. I’m really enjoying your site, loving the writing and the drawings.

  3. Now this is my kind of poetry! Hysterical!

  4. Bella says:

    Okay, I’m speechless. But in a good way. I think. πŸ™‚ Kudos to your creativity. This poem most definitely illustrates the term “thinking outside of the box.”

  5. Matt says:

    I rent a flat right out side the box, actually its really far from the box… the box is dead to me…. um but thank you for the comment you’re very kind.

  6. He he. At last, deep and meaningful poetry I understand from a poet who hasn’t disappeared up his own arse. Just writes about them πŸ˜‰

  7. jhasmoments says:

    Wow!! love the image!! : ) (still smiling) πŸ™‚

  8. You do a great justice to d colors on the background of your blog page πŸ˜‰
    U kinda exhibit max shades pssbl…
    This was something really uncommon…so keep up with the “astonishing” ammazzing wrk…
    catch you back… πŸ™‚


  9. ashazenzi says:

    this is THEE best poem ever written. Frost who? Angelou what?

  10. An arse is an arse is an arse!

  11. boomiebol says:

    :)!!! Thanks much for stopping by my blog

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